Farewell 2015 – I will remember you.

Many will be surprised to hear me say 2015 has not been a bad year.  If I think back, I have had really shitty years where I felt depressed and lost, and by all rights 2015 could have been one of those years.  This year my body failed me and allowed a cancer to grow. But I will not say good riddance to 2015! This year was a “wake up call year,” I was in a rut, I had no direction and was just going through the motions of living. I entered 2015 a little lost and depressed, but I will leave 2015 having learned a lot about myself, feeling grateful, hopeful and happy.

  • This year I was laid off in January, failed a mammogram in May, had a double mastectomy in July, started breast reconstruction and got implants in November.
  • Because I was unemployed I watched a lot of daytime TV. In April when I heard Whoopi Goldberg say “Just go get a mammogram!” I was hypnotized and immediately made an appointment. I can’t believe what would have happened if I hadn’t made that appointment when I did.
  • This year I learned I am stronger than I thought.
  • This year I was so lucky, getting breast cancer was always at the back of my mind, but I had never heard of stage zero.
  • I’d never heard of anyone who was diagnosed with cancer and  didn’t need to undergo months of chemotherapy or radiation, until it happened to me. I dodged a bullet!
  • My cancer was caught early (5 mm), my lymph nodes were clean, my Oncologist discharged me one month after my mastectomy. I can’t believe how lucky I am.
  • The hubs was able to support both of us so I was able to recover for a few months without worrying too much about working and finances. I feel so grateful.
  • I reconnected with old friends and felt loved.
  • A few weeks after my mastectomy, a friend referred me to her manager. I interviewed while still on narcotics, and it went really well!  I’m living a charmed life!
  • I started a new job/career at an amazing company in October. I am so thankful.

So what does a wake-up year do to you? It makes your senses sharper, colors are stronger, trees and flowers are more beautiful.  Food tastes better and coffee smells unreal.  I am generally happier. Dwelling on the past is not on my radar.  Things that would have annoyed me disappear like water off a duck’s back.

I’m spending a little more money on things that make me happy. Last year I might have saved more or though I was being frivolous, but today the phrase “you only live once” means more than it did.

I wake up and look at my misshapen Barbie boobs and smile. My scars are healing well and I am excited to get nipples next year.  My chest is numb and full of silicone, but my cleavage is awesome!  I am healthy and happy!

I’m looking forward to 2016!  I want to do well in my career. I want to travel more. I want to party more. I want to do different things. I want to be spontaneous. I want to love and live more!

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