All posts by MRC_Admin

breast cancer, breast reconstruction, Cancer, DCIS, mastectomy, Stage 0

Surgical Consult – June 8, 2015

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Is the cat out of the bag?  Has the dog escaped?

Monday June 8th started the rollercoaster week of consults. Monday – Surgeon, Wednesday – Plastic Surgeon and Friday – Oncologist.

I woke up early and tried to calm myself before I went off on a surreal thought where I would stand outside my body and look back at myself and say “Can you frikkin believe this? I have cancer just like my mother!  This wasn’t supposed to happen. What would she think, she’d be so upset. I’m almost the same age she was when she was diagnosed, and she died 6 years later. Holy Crap, am I going to die too?”  My mother had died almost 20 years ago and I had worn her wedding ring on my right hand. I look like her, I can hear myself saying things like she would say.  I loved my mother, but at this moment in time I needed to follow my own destiny, I needed to be me.  I took my mothers ring off and put it in my jewelry box. I felt a little naked, but I also felt a release a freedom,  Removing the ring had somehow liberated me. This was going to be Mandy’s story and it was going to be different and today I was going to start the week off with Pancakes!

Pancakes to start off the rollercoaster consultation week.

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breast cancer, DCIS, stereotactic

MRI – June 2, 2015

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The day after my meeting with Dr. Keller, I had an MRI. I was told that the MRI is to check that the cancer isn’t anywhere else. As soon as the penny dropped and I realized the MRI is to determine which type of Ductal Carcinoma I have, I started to become a little concerned.  Up until this point I had felt very strong and in control.  I was positive and ready to ride the rollercoaster with strength and dignity.  But this was testing my control button.

coal under pressureThe morning before the MRI appointment I started  thinking about the different types of ductal carcinoma; What if it’s not DCIS?  I started to cry, but caught myself.  If I let myself cry, I’ll lose it and become a wet soggy mess. When I stop crying I’ll be no better off than I was before because I don’t know what I have.  I can cry when I know which ductal carcinoma I have;

  • if its DCIS I can cry with relief and plan the next year
  • if its Invasive DC I am allowed to ball my eyes out, feel sorry for myself before I recompose and plan the next steps

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breast cancer, DCIS

The Process Outline – June 1, 2015

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As soon as I heard the results of my biopsy I was told to call my primary care provider (PCP).  I called on Friday afternoon and got an appointment on Monday morning.  The speed at which I got the appointment shocked me, is this really serious?

Before my appointment with Dr. Keller I had a dental cleaning that I had scheduled 6 months before. It was the first time I had to tell someone I had cancer.  It didn’t feel real, how could this be. I eat so well, I’m not overweight. I could workout more, but I’m not totally sedentary and I hit 10,000 steps most days.

As I was driving home from the dentist the Imaging Center called to check if I had scheduled my MRI. I didn’t know I needed an MRI. I pulled over to the side of the road to take the call. Apparently an MRI is scheduled after a positive biopsy result.  My MRI was scheduled for Tuesday June 2; tomorrow!  I remember thinking “shit just got real” and this must be what people talk about when they are diagnosed and go through a rollercoaster of appointments.

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breast cancer

There is no cure for cancer, just remission, or death – May 31, 2015

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Notes from a very dark place

Think about it, at any time you could have a cancer cell in your body.  There are so many chemical reactions going on, there has to be the odd mistake or slip up. In most cases the immune system mops up the rogues, rejects and mistakes.  When the immune system is weak or taxed a cancer can take over and get out of the body’s control.   Being in remission, to me, means your immune system is working well and gobbling up any rogue cells that reemerge.

For that reason I have always wondered why mainstream cancer treatments didn’t evolve using something that boosts the immune system.

As a student I used methotrexate to inhibit DNA replication.  I always questioned its use in cancer treatment. To me chemotherapy causes so much collateral damage. It is like dropping an atomic bomb on Denver because of an Ebola/Zombie outbreak. We would never do that, health professionals would be brought in to organize and help; medical help would be increased in the area, much like a boost to the immune system.  At no time would health professions fire an AK 47 into a crowd to kill the infected person and everyone else.

My immune system failed me.   I felt invincible because I was Paleo

I’m really disappointed with my immune system.  I’ve been gluten free since 2008, I don’t eat processed food, and I’ve been at least 80% Paleo since 2011. I don’t drink much alcohol.  I take probiotics, I watch my weight, I could exercise more, I buy organic and non-GMO food. My blood tests always come back really healthy I never get colds…okay, I hardly ever get colds.